Everybody's talking about the Eurovision Song Contest right now. The silliest event on the music calendar is still a few months away, but it's been announced that, when Eurovision 2015 does take place in May, Australia will be one of the nations competing for douze points.
Yes, you read that correctly, and no, we didn't mean to type 'Austria'. Eurovision has long been popular down under, and now the Aussies are getting a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to sing for Europe and take the coveted microphone trophy away from its home continent for the first time ever (assuming you count Israel and Azerbaijan as European nations).
To celebrate this news, and to gear up for everyone's favourite cheese-fest, we've combined the Eurovision Song Contest with another of Australia's favourite things: alcohol! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it's our very own Eurovision Drinking Game - why not watch some past contests with your pals this weekend and get some practice in for May 23?
Part 1 - The Songs
Rule #1 - Drink every time there's a key change.
Trust us, there'll be loads of them.
Rule #2 - Drink every time fireworks are used.
Eurovision without the pyrotechnics would be like professional wrestling without the weapons: probably a lot safer, but much less enjoyable for it.
Rule #3 - If any of you make a remark about the outfits, all of you must take a drink.
Everyone in the room will break this rule multiple times
Rule #4 - If something goes wrong, take a drink.
This rule includes wardrobe malfunctions, singers forgetting the words, sound/lighting issues, fluffed dance routines, and anything else that clearly wasn't in the script.
Rule #5 - Take a drink for every non-anglophone country whose song is entirely in English.
Then, take a moment to ponder the Westernisation of the world and its formerly diverse culture.
Credit to Eurovision via GIPHY
Part 2 - The Voting
Rule #6 - Take a drink for every country that doesn't give Britain any points.
It's not like our acts ever deserve any points. We might as well celebrate our crapness!
Rule #7 - Take a drink every time a new country takes the lead.
For the uninitiated: the leaderboard is updated every time another country announces its votes, and the country at the top changes quite frequently, especially early on.
Rule #8 - Take a drink every time a country gives 12 points to a neighbouring country.
You may want to keep an atlas handy for this one.
Rule #9 - Take a drink whenever one of the vote announcers says something in French.
'Douze points' will come up a lot. Note that this rule doesn't apply to the French announcer.
Rule #10 - If Britain win...you know what? We're not even going to bother making a rule for this.
It'll never happen.
Credit to Eurovision via GIPHY
Don't forget to stock up on drinking accessories before your big Eurovision drink-a-thon!
Other Drinking Games